"IT'S (WAS)NOT RIGHT, BUT IT'S OKAY" WITH US, WHITNEY 'COS NOBODY'S PERFECT

Whitney Elizabeth Houston (August 9, 1963 – February 11, 2012)

This piece cannot be described as a Tribute in the traditional sense; for the simple reason that I set out instead to do a McAnthony to Ms Houston’s Julius Caesar. I am not here to sing her praises as most will undoubtedly do in Tributes in the bid to be politically correct by not speaking untowardly of the dead; I will rather pen a commentary on my perception of the life of this Talented Multiple Award winning Singer based on info I have gleaned over the years from the media. A life that eventually spiralled out of control as a result of wrong choices she made; a life that could have ended on a sweeter note other than the lack lustre end in the bath tub of her hotel room at the Beverly Hills Hotel in LA on the 11th of Feb 2012.

Since the news hit the airwaves, all I see so far on DP’s, TV and other media platforms, are different images of her looking quite glam in her hey day; stage appearances, photo shoots, album covers etc. gone are the ‘real’ images of Whitney that we have come to know this past few years. A Whitney whose beautiful features had become ravaged by the effect of excessive drug use and self destructive life style; A Whitney who elicited paparazzi frenzy whenever she had one of her neurotic fits in public. Ah! A Whitney who was front page news not for belting out a hit, but simply for the grace to grass story she had become. Beyond all this politically correct show of grief, you can be sure that until a coroner’s report is released; and I doubt if it would really make a difference then; people in the privacy of their homes, and little chat groups on terra firma or virtual space, would have already opined by now that her death was most likely drug related.

Morbid and insensitive as this may sound; I must confess that I wasn’t caught off balance by the news of her untimely death when I heard it on Sunday morning; all I felt was an eerie kind of relief akin to that people experience when a loved one who had been struggling with a terminal condition finally breathes his/her last; with the way her dependence on drugs had taken a turn for the worst in recent times, it seemed only a matter of time before the ‘Monkey on her back’ administered its fatal blow. As time wore on, I began to experience feelings of sadness not necessarily at her passing; I believe she had finally found the peace that had eluded her for so long; but rather because I understood firsthand the possibility of changing the often predictable outcome of this type of story and wished she had found her ‘Turning Point’ like most people with similar challenges do. This however didn’t stop me for wondering if perhaps she did have the opportunity of a ‘Turning Point’ but sadly was too far-gone to recognise it for what it was. 

I never had the privilege of knowing Ms Houston on a personal level, so I can’t give a superfluous oration as McAnthony did, but I certainly ‘knew’ Whitney the Artist through her songs. I first ‘met’ her in the summer of ’84 in Roma, Italy. The young impressionable Mills and Boon reading girl that I was became an unashamed member of her ‘audio posse’. Her early creations where the highlight of my teen years and I mimed a few at literary events in my last year in secondary school; my song of choice back then apart from the obvious “Greatest Love of All”, was “I wanna dance with somebody”, I considered that particular song infused by her legendary high notes as the best pick me up whenever I felt broody. Up till date it remains one of my all time favourites and I have it on replay on my device for whenever I feel up to an early morning walk.

By the start of my UniCal years in 1985, I was well on my way to being a diehard Whitney groupie; if any of my mates from back then should read this piece, they would confirm my passion for singing her songs at every Morgan Okunnuga led Da Beatz Klub events. Such was my passion for Whitney. I gradually evolved into a more discerning fan and by the 90’s when she ventured into sound tracks for movies, I saw her as a much more matured songstress; the quintessential Diva, who had finally entered into her own. It was therefore a rude shock to read (there was no www back then and I think I read it first in either of the tabloid papers ;Enquirer or Star)  that she had ventured into the murky waters of drug experimentation having been introduced to it by Bobby. Thinking of it now, I am so sure that she must have imagined that she could control her abuse of substances since it was simply a recreational pastime, something she could handle; Little did she know that addiction was one Captor that never gave up its captive willingly.

To say my head had become one mess of whirring thoughts of will be an understatement; I wondered if perhaps her colleagues chose not to help her fight this thing because her being down and out gave them a sense of superiority that they could never have had if she was still on top of her game; I couldn’t help but wonder that maybe her “Sun would not have Set” the way it did if she still had the love and support of friends like Cece Winans, who gave a solemn promise in their duet “Count on me through thick and thin”; maybe she would still have been here if she still had elements of the ‘Girl Power’ candour she sang of in “I’m Everywoman”; maybe she would still be here if she took out time now and then to “Exhale”; maybe she would still be here if she sought for the right answers whenever she asked the question “Why does it hurt so bad?”; maybe she would still be here if she really believed her mantra “I didn’t know my own strength”; maybe she would still be here if the “Something in Common” she shared with her ex-Bobby was not a passion for the drugs that finally held her captive; while he was able to slip out through the cracks leaving her lost and forlorn; maybe she would still be here if she practiced what she preached in her songs and chose instead the path of giving her daughter Bobbi Christina” a Sense of Pride “ by fighting for her life; maybe she would have still been here if she gained insight early enough on the transient Nature of fame and embraced instead new possibilities long after the adulation of the fawning fans had ebbed, rather than brood over Past Glory; if only she had let her daughter’s laughter remind her of how she used to be; maybe she would still have been here if she still had the support of a world and an industry she once bestrode like a Colossus; a world that once adored her in her hey day; a world that was once pumped up by the ‘Can Do’ spirit the majority of her songs laced with positive lyrics evoked.

With there being no end to the “Maybes” that have plagued my thoughts since her passing, I just wish the hands of time could be readjusted and she be given another shot at life; who knows maybe she would have done differently. Since I know this to be wishful thinking, all I have left to say to one whose music gave me direction at certain points in my life is simply; “Why did you not pay heed to the message of your songs and LEARNED TO LOVE YOURSELF well enough to ‘JUST SAY NO’ that first moment you were lured or invited to experiment with drugs; after all you it was who assured us and urged us even, to believe that “LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF, IS THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL”.”

Come to think of it, there must have been people who felt that Ms Houston never quite fought to beat her addiction. She is believed to have embraced the numbing effect and the rush of drugs because it simulated the adrenaline rush of being up there on stage. Maybe she was unfairly judged and maybe drug use represented an escape for the lack lustre existence of being wife to a ne’er do well; whatever the case, we may as well accept the fact that we may never have answers to these nagging questions.
The media always reported that for the most part she is said to have been uncooperative on the subject of treatment with family members especially her mother Cissy who on various occasions had to threaten to take away Bobbi kristina from her if she refused the offer of help. She refused every offer of treatment and in her delusional state, insisted that she had everything under control. Her few stints in rehab are said to have been forced confinements. Forced though they might have been, for the rare moments of lucidity she had just following such stints, we were able to catch a glimpse of the ‘real’ Whitney albeit for a few moments before another relapse. During such moments, she always ever found herself in the studio, but the resulting singles never quite caught on and her career took a further dive and with it came the inevitable relapse. However one of such far between moments stands out for me; and I suppose that was the last of them. She re-emerged briefly to collaborate with Akon on the track “love me like I never left’; in the song laden with pure ‘Whitneyresque’ sound, her voice had a rougher edge from the years of abuse, but nonetheless I rooted for her believing, that Ms Houston was indeed back on the block.

Thinking of it now, it is as if she lost the will to live and chose instead the path of self destruction. She seemed to say that Fame was her life and without it she was essentially nothing. Drugs had most likely become a way of escape. She wanted all or nothing. Now I see what people meant when they said the launch of her reality show expedited her downward spiral. The show centred on her and Bobby’s life as a couple. I honestly think She believed it would give her the opportunity for the comeback that had eluded her for so long if people got to see her in her element and know her life was “normal”, when in actual fact, the show served to bring to public consciousness the train wreck that her life had become. With the benefit of hindsight now, I am certain her mother, Cissy who reportedly originally opposed Whitney’s decision to marry Bobby, would now wish she had put her foot down back then. Famously referred to as a disaster from the first episode, the struggles of her life soon became fodder for vicious humour in the scramble for top ratings by the Networks. A life story that was straight out a fairy tale up until the moment she got hooked to Bobby was suddenly seen for the Tragedy it had become. In a sad twist, Bobby exited the union, worked on cleaning up his act and left Whitney to pick up the pieces which she obviously wasn't prepared to.

I can’t help questioning the sincerity of the various reactions from the entertainment industry that have accompanied the news since it was announced. What rubbish, these outpouring of love (a silly too little, too late gesture) from an industry that had at her time of need rejected her and considered her “washed up”, a pathetic “has been, ‘Cokehead’ and a whole load of unprintable adjectives. I wondered if this was the same Whitney whose life up until moments before the sad news was announced, provided the punch line in a laugh a minute comic anecdote; she was the butt of jokes, her addiction and its accompanying bouts of neurotic behaviour offered  people  cheap thrills;  the same Whitney who was torn to shreds on almost every episode of Fashion Police whenever Joan Rivers needed to compare the fashion sense of a star’s red carpet look to “like Whitney high on crack”; the same Whitney who barely surviving on the fringes of an industry where she blazed a trail as one of the “Original Divas”.   One thing I am certain of without having known her personally, is the fact that the little black girl that she was back in the 70’s, could never have imagined that she would one day grow up to be one of the highest grossing artists of all time with crossover appeal and then by a warped error in judgement find herself losing it all.

Her death on the eve of the most prestigious music event in the world, THE 2012 GRAMMY AWARDS is somewhat significant. An award recipient herself; many times over; she was billed to appear in a pre- Grammy Gala later in the day. It is ironic that rather than appear at the Event usually reserved for B-listers; in a bizarre twist Ms Houston went out in a Blaze of Glory. The same industry that had dismissed her as 'washed up' for so long had no choice than to give her back her “SPOTLIGHT” and the standing Ovation she deserved, barely a few hours after her death; Ms Houston yet again for "One Moment in Time" took centre stage by way of the special tribute put on at a moment’s notice to honour her passing. one of the greatest musical Icons of the 20^th Century who stole the heart of the world from the moment she opened her mouth as a gawky, waif like creature of barely 17.

 All in all, the story of Ms Houston could very well have been the story of any other woman battling the same demons away from the glare of the klieg lights, she was as human as the next person, Superstar status notwithstanding and prone to weakness the same as any other person.

Today, I join the rest of the world to mourn the passing of this great gem that will be rememebered as a "LEGENDARY LESSON". I can only hope that the story of her life would serve as a ‘Turning Point’ for some other person out there.

WARTS AND ALL; MEMORIES OF THIS BRILLIANT STAR WHO SHONE FOR JUST “ONE MOMENT IN TIME” WILL ALWAYS REMAIN INDELIBLE IN THE HEARTS OF MILLIONS FOR YEARS TO COME....

Finally! She has found Rest far from the Madding Crowd, Far from the Demons that plagued her for far too long.....The decison to empathise with someone who opts for a self destructive path is not easy, just as much as the choice to choose to go down such path

ADIEU! MS HOUSTON