EULOGY FOR MY FATHER-IN-LAW (LOVE) FELIX ANANABA MEREGINI (Nov 26th 1939-Oct 4th 2010)

Seating down with my dear mother-in-law on sunday when she came visiting following my last born's surgery, most of our discussion centred on how much we miss all miss her late husband, my husband's father..I choose to post this tribute I wrote in his honour for his Obsequies)

Of all the people I have ever known in my life, I feel as though the life of my Father-in-law(love) Felix Ananaba Meregini a man whom I had the privilege of sharing his life for 16 years is one of the most deserving to be celebrated. Consider this Memorial a daughter in law’s loving last gift to a man she cared for dearly and who also cared for her in more ways than you can ever imagine
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If you ever get to see this and you knew Felix, please add your thoughts and prayers for the family he left behind,by visiting http://felix-ananaba-meregini.last-memories.com/

My father in law, Felix Ananaba Meregini died on Monday the 4th of October 2010 after a brave fight with Stroke and a slew of complications that attended it. I would not dwell on the time of illness because

I would rather celebrate the life of "BOSS" (the fond name his children called him) than his passage to Eternity where I am assured that he rests in the Bosom of the Almighty Jehovah. He is scheduled to be laid to rest on Saturday the 27th of November 2010 a day after he would have turned 71 in his home town umuana ndume, Ibeku, umuahia, Abia State.

No words can best describe my Father-in-love (as I would much rather refer to him). To attempt to capture his essence in a few words would amount to doing a disservice to the man I met for the first time in May of 1994. I recall driving into their compound in Amadi area of Abuloma in Port Harcourt, Rivers State in the company of his son, my then friend Okey who I would later call husband. I remember seeing him that sunny afternoon bent over the home generating set with his shirtsleeves rolled up doing some minor repairs on it; I felt a lump in my throat at the sight. You might wonder why the lump, but you see I had just lost my dad a few short weeks before. As a matter of fact Okey and I were just arriving back from Calabar where the service of songs had held the night before. And the sight of him doing such repairs was one of the many memories I had of my dad who had also been a sort of Mr Fix it around the home.

For whatever reason, I fell for his boisterous attitude that day. What with the fond way he called his son “Enyi” (a name I was to later fondly use for Okey) and chatted with me as if we had been acquainted for ages.

I remember how apprehensive family and friends became as Okey and I’s relationship progressed, wondering if his father would ever accept the fact of his “Okpara” marrying outside the Ibo tribe. This statement made me laugh, because on the surface, one could think that, but what no one knew was the loving, accepting and giving person Felix was. We had become fast friends (yes friends) over time. I hung out with him and his golfing buddies at the Air Assault golf Club in Ph. Or was it my frequent visits to his Flopetrol Schlumberger office in Ph, where all his “boys” called me “Aunty”. With his jaunty steps and youthful mien in retrospect I wonder what or who they thought I was to their boss.

He never wore religion on his shirtsleeve; he lived it. He had a quiet faith that helped him through difficult things in his life and trust me he had his fair share when growing up. That is why he was able to rise above the hurt and still do good to others. He touched my life in so many ways. He was always there in the highs and most certainly there even at my lowest moments.

The advent of the GSM era marked another phase in our relationship. Gosh, I cost him top call credit charges. After all he was the Dad I now had...those early days of marriage where not easy for me having not had a clue of what the institution entailed. But I Thank God I had him to talk to, and talk we did.

Never one to thrust his convictions on any of his children it was therefore a big surprise for me when he went against grain that day in 2006 when he put his foot down and rebuked any likelihood or possibility of the D word between Okey and I. At that moment any doubt about his fierce loyalty to me evaporated and I loved him even more.

O! He loved life and lived it to the fullest. I remember him shooting his rifle into the air at family events at the village the palpable joy he exuded was at best contagious...A man whose greatest prides in life was to see his children come into their own. Remembering him with the grandchildren especially my second son Chibuikem, brings a lump to my throat.... His use of profane language was a legacy from the Oil Rigs and was an incessant topic between him and my children, always ending with..”Argggh Grand Paaaaaa stop it!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

From the time I first met him, my father in law felt bigger than life to me. He has left his mark on my heart and the hearts of my Children (I almost forget to add that he was always amongst one of the first callers after each birth and this was a great feat considering the distance he had to come from. Such was our bond that our only daughter of our four beautiful Children was born a day before her grandfather’s 58th birthday and I wish I could describe the look on his face when he carried her at the hospital)

As a daughter in law it’s hard to know whether you’re accepted into a family. Often, you do not really know how you are regarded until you mess up. And the wonderful thing about my Father in law, was that when I did mess up, he never spoke a hard or harsh word to me when others did but rather he just reassured me of his love for me and accepted me as a daughter. I remember another major point in our relationship it was on a hazy harmattan day in December 2006 we drove down together from the village.. his words cut deep into me that day and I knew more than any other thing that it wasn't just the law that had earned him the honour of being called Daddy by me but the love he had for me.

He was to reiterate this same thoughts and words to me in Februaury of 2007 when I felt my world as i knew it had ended..it was no surprise therefore to have him hug me and shed tears of Joy when we met up again in July of that same year. Such was the bond I shared with this man I now called father.

I am an avowed Christian and I am not ashamed to admit it. One of my favorite subjects to talk about is the love of God. Scripture talks about a special kind of love, the Agape love of God. It’s a love that is much deeper and much more profound than the selfish love we usually see on this earth. I didn’t know he had just a short while left with us. I didn’t think for a moment that the sickness was unto death, but now I know better because even in his passing I still see the man he was and will always be to me.

As I look back at my father in law’s life, I see that he demonstrated that Agape love of God in many ways:

He demonstrated it in his commitment to his wife, Esther; of 43 years… He demonstrated it in his loyalty to his Children; Okey, Favour, Chidinma, Ngozi, Uba, Nnenna and Chioma.....

He demonstrated it in his devotion to his grandchildren Osinachi, Chika, Chibuikem, Uchenna, Chidiebube, Chimuanya, Chibuihe, Chibueze, Izubechukwu, Chiagoziem, Daibi and KaosisoChukwu.

He showed it through many acts of kindness to his relations, faithfully doing the best he could for them...

He demonstrated it in his unconditional acceptance of his Children’s spouses: Ben, Eleazar, Okey, Abiye, Uche and I and our respective families.

Now the Almighty God has prepared a place for him where all illness is gone, where there is no more pain or sorrow, and Felix stands in the glory and presence of His Maker.

So, today I honour him and I say to him "THANK YOU", ‘Daddy I love you, I will miss you, but I look forward to the day I will see you again.’

Your Daughter -in-Love

Ohunene Scott-Ananaba (nee Ajanaku)