7 YEARS AGO 12/7/14 I BECAME A LIVING WITNESS OF GOD'S SAVING GRACE ANDMANIFOLD MERCY

 

Isaiah 43:9-13

9. Let all the nations be gathered together , and let

the people be assembled : who among them can declare 

this, and shew us former things ? let them bring forth their 

witnesses , that they may be justified : Or let them hear ,

and say , It is truth .10. Ye are my witnesses , saith the LORD 

and my servant whom I have chosen : that ye may know and 

believe me, and understand that I am he: before me there was 

no God formed ,neither shall there be after me. 11. I, even I, am 

the LORD ; and beside me there is no saviour . 12. I have 

declared , and have saved , and I have shewed , when there 

was no strange god among you: therefore ye are my witnesses , 

saith the LORD , that I am God . 13. Yea, before the day was 

I am he; and there is none that can deliver out of my hand : 

I will work , and who shall let it? 

When yesterday a "Mother" and Mentor Pastor Ba saw me late afternoon as I escorted a friend who visited me and without any prior notice hesitantly requested if I could possibly serve as Worship Minister at the Covenant Faith Parish PH (RCCG) for their monthly 2nd Saturday AM Service today and I readily agreed she was surprised. That decision was about one of the easiest I have ever had to take in a long time.

Unbeknownst to her it was a Rite of Passage of sorts for both of Us and I was coming full Circle. Incidentally she was the last person Who visited me on Friday, 26th of January 2007 at my home in PH to pray with me on the eve of my departure to what at the time I considered the unknown having "almost" hit Rock Bottom on account of almost losing the fight in a 7 Year battle with PentaZocine (Fortwin).

Yes! Today I use the Word "Almost" though back then I felt life was over and death would have been bliss. Today I use "Almost" because at least having lost almost everything, Still had my life.

The "Journey" started the next day when my now deceased Brother Ajay picked me from home. I have faint memories of my sons crying and wailing as I left them without a word and Aj reassuring them I would return soon. I was too far gone to care. We headed for Owerri (PH Airport was closed back then on account of repairs following the Sosoliso air crash of 2005). That "Journey" lasted approximately 139 days with 135 of those days spent in rehab.

Today's gist is not about the "Journey" itself but the Journey's end that I celebrate today. That Fateful Thursday, the 12th Day of July 2007 exactly 7 years ago when I walked out of DATER HOUSE into the waiting hands of my Mother.

I was leaving with fond memories and this was in contrast to the fear, trepidation and uncertainty of the early days.

As I was being processed for check out and I recalled the bitter sweet days leading to my departure as different Staff, Therapists, Co Residents wrote various things in my Gratitude Book (maybe someday bromides of its pages will be in a memoir; who knows?) that was a keepsake my Sisters had sent to me from the late Pastor Eskor Mfon's Burial.

I remembered how I wept hopelessly following my HOT SEAT, a prerequisite for exit from the House. The direct sometimes harsh assessment of you by co residents was a foretaste of what you would likely encounter outside and was a necessary Rites of Passage in the House. Truthfully, I have never had the guts to listen to my copy of the recording: and I may have probably lost it though the house still retains an original copy.

I thanked God I had escaped Dr Adamson's Group PsychoTherapy session without which your 

treatment was deemed inconclusive. Up till date I don't know how come I was spared that. I had participated in quite a handful during my stay and witnessed how the constant grilling had left the subject in tears sometimes and I feared the evil day because I was forthright in sessions because Dr Adamson made sure we all were, it was usually the day your whole life secrets came out from your lips in your own words and you confronted yourself (Gaining Insight about your descent into addiction was the term for what you got out of the session)

I knew I would miss Group, and all the wonderful modules in the HOUSE.

My last session with my Counsellor was gut wrenching. I shared my fears she allayed them.

I was scared of exiting the HOUSE, it had become a safety net for me because of its rules and regimented lifestyle. I had come to embrace the discipline, I had let go of any sense of self importance I thought I had. Who won't when you are placed on a Duty Rota to scrub, clean and wash like any scullery maid. Incidentally the house was modelled to tally with a US/UN rehab programme. 

As I stood outside the HOUSE surrounded by Staff and happily taking pictures and seeing the Glow on my mum's face I knew then and then that the SERENITY PRAYER  and 12 Twelve Steps will forever be a part of my life forever.

  

I have memories of the Residents (as we recovering addicts were called), waving at me from the door (no one could step out at will- story for another day), one of them Lanre (no full names because I don't have his permission to do that, he is here on FB and I am sure "my poet" is smiling even as he reads this) ran out and gave me a hug and whispered in my ear words he had already captured for eternity in my Gratitude Book "Aunty Neneh, I look forward to seeing you again, remember you are a Diva, so Chin out, shoulders spread, chest out and march confidently in the Name of The Lord for you are a Victor over the world of drug addiction" and I daresay it was prophetic because 7 years down the road I realise that in myself I am NOTHING, but in God I am EVERYTHING. 

But I had to leave...

as I waved GoodBye I knew I was leaving THE PLACE OF REST.

A place that had been a haven for me, 

a place I had learnt the merits of affirmations and pull ups

a place I had been reengineered, remoulded and prepped for a return and eventual reintegration into society, 

a place I formed bonds that are part of who I have become, 

it may sound corny, but I proudly say its a place I experienced a genuine salvation experience, 

a place I "met" myself and fell in love with "Me"

a place I was taught to understand that above all else what matters is God's Validation and not that of men.

LITTLE DID I KNOW GOD HAD GREATER PLANS FOR MAINTAINING MY SOBRIETY. 

Today as I stole out of bed early in the morning to get ready for the Service, My excitement knew no bounds, I counted it a privilege to return on the 7th Year to offer my Thanks to God through a Divinely Orchestrated appointment. My husband was still in bed and I bent whispered good morning to him and said to him "Today is my 7th Year Anniversary of exit from DATER and I have an obligation to God". He simply said "OK" and turned over in sleep.

                                                                

As I worshipped in HIS Presence in the programme tagged "POSSESSING YOUR POSSESSIONS" that had Pst Alex of Prevailing Word Area minister The Word, I knew I had come full Circle.

When Later I reminded my "mother" of the significance of Today she just hugged me. 

It was John Newton that said "I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I wish to be, I am not what I hope to be, but by the Grace of God I am not what I was"

And today I say I am just Glad to be Alive and even be of any use to God.

I am glad that I can concur to the scripture I quoted above from Isaiah 43 and Declare thus "YES! INDEED I AM A LIVING WITNESS OF GOD'S GRACE AND INFINITE MERCY"

My Eternal Thanks to my DATER FAMILY Pst Tony Ogbebor (PNO DATER) My angels in white Prince Chima Akpunne Felicia Ademola Eucharia EloeboYemisi Olorunseun, Oga Ajayi, Matron Oyeniyi Osisanwo 

Hopefully I will be with you in August at the reunion.

To my Sisters Oyiza Salu Inya Ajanaku indeed not just blood but by Covenant. Indeed Jehovah heard your heart Cry.

Sad though Ajay isn't here I Thank God He saw the New Me. And my Tomato Jos the one he gave us the Priviledgde of having Nnennaya Ogbeanu Ajanwachuku-Ajanaku I can't thank you enough

My Sister in Love Nnenna Ananaba it's a heart thing and I say thank you

My Mum Mma May I owe it to you Mother Mine.

My late Father in Love Boss Felix You smile from Heaven 

Mine Okey Scott Ananaba you put up with so much and I thank you with the life we live.

Ohunene